A Self-Reflection Guide for White Women Confronting The Edges of Comfort, Complicity, and Change
Most white women married to white men are only as progressive and liberatory as their husbands and their marriages allow them to be.
If you’ve felt that, this guide is for you.
You care about justice, collective thriving, and living in alignment with your values.
But inside your marriage, things get murky.
You soften your words. You wait for the right time. You swallow what you believe to keep the peace.
This guide won’t tell you to stay or go. It will ask you to stop pretending.
What You’ll Get
- A Where I Am Now self-reflection tool
- 8 sections with sharp, grounded questions exploring:
- How your marriage was formed
- What you’ve tolerated
- The costs of your becoming
- The logics of whiteness and patriarchy that live inside your relationship
- What renegotiation could look like
- A short audio companion
- A closing prompt to name your clearest truth
This Guide Is For You If
- You’re married to a white man
- You’re becoming more politically awake and it’s creating tension at home
- You want to live your values, not just think about them
- You’re not looking for advice — you’re looking for clarity
This Is Not
- A guide to fix your husband
- A checklist for a “progressive” relationship
- A tool for performance
This is for telling the truth.
About who you are.
About what your marriage holds.
About what it asks you to trade.